Useful tips for safe words

When you just begin to explore thrilling BDSM play, you have a lot of possibilities to learn new unknown world of power and submission, thrills of extreme sensations and many other things that let you fly to the heights of unbelievable feelings. Once trying a light sensation play may inspire you for further more hard experiments to try. In this context using tools which give you confidence for your own and your partner safety are necessary to have the whole process of BDSM play under control.

What are safe words?

Being a part of the whole BDSM culture safe words are special words to communicate with your partner and to let him know if you need to stop the play. Safe word may is not always a word or a phrase, it can be a gesture or any other sign to set the limits for both partners.

Why do you need safe words?

Exploration of BDSM play is an exciting and quite thrilling process where you don't always know the boundary you won't be able to cross. The line of least resistance is also very different for various people that's why it is important to make use of certain signals- safe words to let your partner know you are not having fun and you are not going to continue the play. Besides as some words like "stop" and "no" can be a part of the play and don't mean actually the end of the play but only indicate quite the opposite. In this case your safe words shouldn't be equivocal and have only one meaning.

As dominant partner is actually the one to be in control of submissive safety, he must be sure that the bottom really dislikes what the top is into and not just teases him somehow. Taking into account that some hard games include activities when your partner is gagged with BDSM toy and can hardly utter anything, some other signs may be necessary.

Remember that true harm is not what BDSM is all about, as everything done within the limits of BDSM play is actually done on a mutual consent. All that means what you both do is what each of you wants.

How to use safe words?

This is probably the primary rule for all BDSM lovers. Whenever you are getting involved in extreme play or make use of very rough BDSM toy you should be especially careful with a partner you choose. Safe words can be just useless if you don't know whether you partner will accept them and stop. A person you trust means he is the one to follow the rules both of you set.

As has been said, words like "no" or "stop" are not appropriate for this purpose as you may use them during the scene as a part of the play. Think of something that will be hardly used in play. It could be a name of the animal, an irrelevant word or simply peculiar word. Many people don't reinvent the wheel and tell "safe word" as it is. You are free to choose what fits you the best.

Many people use several words to clear out where to stop and where to slow down. It's very common to use colors to indicate where certain activity should be brought to an end or simply loosen up the restrains if you use BDSM toy for this purpose. Very frequently people use "green" for "go on", "yellow"- for "slow down" and "red" for "stop". You may also use numbers to tell your partner the whole range of sensations.

Once you've chosen your safe word keep it for extreme occasions when you really mean "you are not able to resist the play anymore". If for a mere fun you are using your safe word during a sensation play where you are not actually meaning it, next time you are into something more serious with flogging BDSM toys or more dangerous and risky BDSM toy you won't be sure your partner will get it as a joke or as a true desire to stop the game.

Words work as long as you are able to tell something to your partner. But in case you are limited not only in your movements but you are gagged it's better to choose some gesture to let your partner know you are not opt for the activity. You may hold a handkerchief or some other item and drop it at the appropriate moment.

In any situation, keep in mind that in order to get maximum pleasure from BDSM play you need to be sure of the limits you and your partner set and BDSM toys you use.