About punishment

Punishment is an inevitable element of relationships between a dom and a sub. To speak shortly, punishment is designed for behavior correction. But all involved in BDSM know that punishment is a gift and the Dom's benefaction as it helps to get free from feeling of guilt and it is a sign of the Top's care for his sub.

Perhaps there is no use to mention that necessity of punishment must be realized by the slave and no penalty can take place without the sub's agreement. BDSM relationships always imply love and goodwill. So punishment must be necessarily discussed in advance.

To be effective punishment requires some certain rules which should be necessarily followed any time a Dom finds it necessary to give his sub a lesson.

Three Main Punishment rules

Punishment in any its detail must be different from other types of BDSM action. Otherwise the submissive is going to get used to it and take punishment as something habitual - what lesson is he going to be given than?

For instance you can have especial BDSM toys used only for punishment and nothing else. Put these BDSM toys - collars, handcuffs, gags, paddles and use them only when punishing your sub. In this case these BDSM toys are going to be associated only with actions intended to punish him.

2.This is the Dom who defines severity of punishment as well as its other details. The Dom chooses the time his Sub is going to be punished, BDSM toys he is going to use, tortures the sub must undergo etc. All these things must not be discussed, otherwise this is going to be anything but punishment!

3.One offence - one punishment. This is the main principle which if not followed makes punishment useless. The Sub must always be aware what he is punished for.

Now let us speak about punishment itself. Actually punishment consists of five steps.

Step one. Explanation

This step implies explanation of what was done wrong and what your slave should have done instead. Make sure the submissive realizes his guilt otherwise everything that comes next is going to be of no use.

Step two. Sub begs to punish him.

Punishment might always involve this step and it might never imply it - everything depends on the Top. The bottom does not have the right to choose whether he should beg to punish him or not - this is not a matter for him to decide.

Step three. Getting ready for punishment and realization of guilt.

The fourth action is perhaps the longest one and it takes place without the Dom's interference. This might imply being on knees in very uncomfortable position in darkness. As well it might imply use of some BDSM toys, such as restraints. This step is very effective as being alone the bottom feels lonely and denied.

Step four. Punishment.

The fourth step is punishment itself. Here no recommendations can be given. Everything that takes place during this stage of punishment depends on the Dom. This can be not only inflicting pain on the bottom as many might think. Verbal communication is as well very important.

The Dom can order his sub repeat a part of guilt explanation in order to find out that the slave understood him and realized his guilt. Realization of guilt can be expressed in some other way, for instance by saying "Thank you, Master!" after each blow or by continuous licking the Master's feet during the punishment.

Verbal communication between the top and the bottom implies that the Dom should let his sub know whether the latter can cry or not. As well he should make it clear what is going to happen if the bottom cries in spite of this prohibition.

The top can let the bottom know how long punishment is going to last, what BDSM toys he is going to use. But he must not do this. So again everything depends on the Dom's will.

Step six. Forgiveness.

Punishment has ended. The top might order the bottom to thank him for punishment. He can let his slave know what punishment he is going to undergo for committing the same crime again. And of course the top must let his slave know whether the latter is forgiven or not.

In the end we should say that the first punishment must be very severe. Than punishments might become rarer and less cruel. Full-fledged DS relationships imply that after some time punishment must become a very rare event or there should be no punishments at all as the most terrible thing for a bottom is being deprived of his Master's love.